http://jsfiddle.net/TmJCE/10/
$('#name2').change(function(){
$('#name').prop('selectedIndex',0);
});
$('#name').change(function(){
$('#name2').prop('selectedIndex',0);
});
and html is ->
<select id="name" >
<option value="">select all</option>
<option value="1">Text 1</option>
<option value="2">Text 2</option>
<option value="3">Text 3</option>
</select>
<select id="name2" >
<option value="">select all</option>
<option value="1">Text 1</option>
<option value="2">Text 2</option>
<option value="3">Text 3</option>
</select>
the main code is
$('#to').prop('selectedIndex',0);
where #to is id of my select tag . put it anywhere on an event listener